TAKING THE SELF OUT OF SELF-CONTROL
“I was doing well until the New Year’s Party! Then I saw those macaroons. I lost all control! It was downhill from there. There was a work-party after that and then I had to travel. And I had failed again. I was so dejected -I threw in the towel. What’s the point? The more I resist the harder it gets! If only I had more self-control! " We hear variations of this in every diet-history we take. Funny part is it is always seen as a “moral failing”. Little do they know – it is far from that and “self-control” is over-rated! But the guilt, anger and frustration sap at the energy that can be used to re-direct themselves towards their goals. Read on to know why you shouldn’t be banking on self- control in the first place!
TOP THREE REASONS TO TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF SELF-CONTROL
#1: FEELING DEPLETED: In a study done in Mcgill University, Milyavskaya et al.
(2015) ₁ found that students felt they put in more effort and dealt with more obstacles when dealing with achieving a have-to goal. This may lead to feeling depleted and likely giving up -many of our clients experience this when they set a goal such as “I have to lose 30#”.
#2 AVOIDING SELF CONTROL DECISIONS: Research by psychologists Galla and colleagues (2015) found that people who are good at self-control are good at structuring their lives to avoid these self-control decisions in the first place. 2 One of our clients used to leave his shoes near his bed so that he would be prompted to exercise in the morning! Eating a snack before the party leaves you with more ability to say no than when you arrive hungry.
#3 OTHER FACTORS: Who would have thought- but it appears that self-control could be related to -yes you guessed it right! - to genetics. Other factors like economic status can affect self-control as well.⁴
RD’s Verdict: DON’T bank on self-control!
Here are some ways that people who are good at self- control do things differently:
1) SET WANT-TO GOALS: People who are good at self -control actually enjoy the activities they do. We all have that runner in the family who gets up at 4:00 am because he genuinely loves the rush. For exercising, find the activity that you actually love – if dancing/music is your thing -then get up and dance! The goal is to have physical activity for 30 mins – how you get there does not matter!
2) BETTER STRATEGIES TO AVOID “SELF-CONTROL” DECISIONS: Avoid putting yourself in the spot where you will have to exercise self-control in the first place. For example – one of our clients changed his route to work so he wouldn’t pass by his favorite coffee-shop. You may think it is a little drastic but this helped him gain control over his addiction to Lattes.
3) CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE OBJECT: Read this intriguing article about a test they did on kids resisting marshmallows! (3).
These kids employed a strategy to make the marshmellows less inviting.
Next time you resist an activity – think - is it really that bad? Think vividly about the toned body you are aiming to have or think about why you want to do this. Think about adding a reward.
Remember change is not easy. It takes at least 21 days for a new habit to take shape. The New Year marks a fresh start! Think about your want-to goals. What drives you? What do you really want? And be honest! Check out our calendar for new ideas and inspiration each day. If you have an interesting tip, please share in the comment section. We love hearing from you! Until next time.
Nourish. Transform. Inspire.
Mer & Meena
(PS: please read our disclaimer before using our tips and ideas)
References:
1. Milyavskya,M et al 2015 .Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 109, No. 4, 677–69
2. Galla BM et al 2015 More than resisting temptation: Beneficial habits mediate the relationship between self-control and positive life outcomes. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2015 Sep;109(3):508-25. doi: 10.1037/pspp0000026. Epub 2015 Feb 2.
3. http://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2016/11/3/13486940/self-control-psychology-myth
4. https://newrepublic.com/article/122887/poor-people-dont-have-less-self-control
